Joke Of The Day - Onions

Joke Of The Day - Onions

A surgeon operating on a man slips and accidentally cuts off the patient's testicles. He quickly inserts two onions and sews him back up. One month later, the man goes back for a check-up.

"Any problems?" asks the surgeon.

"A few," explains the man. "I cry when I pee, my wife gets heartburn after sex and I get a hard-on when I see a cheese sandwich!"

courtesy AskMen

Joke Of The Day - Calling it Quits

Joke Of The Day - Calling it Quits

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself.

"Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!" his ex-wife replies.

The next day the guy does the same thing with the same results.

He does the same thing everyday for a week, until finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling.

"Look, bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story!" she erupts, "Don't you understand?"

"Oh, I do, I do," he says, "I just can't hear it enough!"

courtesy Ask Men