Joke Of The Day : Say Watt??

Joke Of The Day : Say Watt??

Q. How many swingers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. None. Swingers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

courtesy Ask Men

Thought Of The Day : New Beginning

Thought Of The Day : New Beginning

We are always on the precipice of a new beginning and it represents a grand opportunity for us. To make the most of it, we will need to truly leave the past behind - not just the negative effects it had on our life, but we will also need to alter some of the ways we dealt with life in the past. We need to be more proactive in our own life. We need to take charge. As we move forward, try to evaluate what caused the problems we had. If we can be honest with ourselves, this could be a positive, life-changing shift in where we want our life to go from here.

Joke Of The Day - Amazing Legs

Joke Of The Day - Amazing Legs

A man was drinking alone at a bar when he spotted a fat girl dancing on a nearby table. After watching for a while he walked past her and said, "Amazing legs."

She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?"

"Definitely," he replied. "Most tables would have collapsed by now."

courtesy AskMen

Thought of The Day : Life

Thought of The Day : Life

Life, it sometimes seems, is full of situations that we don't want to deal with, facts that we prefer not to face, challenges that we really don't feel inspired to rise to. Yet it is also full of such beauty, magic, joy and inspiration. Can't we just appreciate all that and keep away from the more daunting stuff? Not if those potential difficulties really deserve our attention. Only we now know whether we are wisely avoiding an unnecessary drama or shirking a real responsibility. But it would be a good idea to get clear about this.

Joke Of The Day - The Best Bet

Joke Of The Day - The Best Bet

An unscrupulous young man had fancied this girl for ages but she had shown no interest in him so he decided to play a trick on her. The next time he saw her sunbathing on the beach he went up and said, “Hi Julie, I bet you £10 I can keep an eye on my clothes while I dive into the sea.”

Now Julie felt pretty sure that it would be impossible for him to dive in and watch the beach at the same time, so she accepted the bet. The young man took a false eye out of his pocket, put it on his clothes, and then dived into the water.

When he returned, he smiled and said, “Come on, Julie, I bet you another £10 I can bite my own ear.”

“Oh no,” she said, “Not more tricks. I suppose it’s plastic teeth this time?”

“I promise you they’re my own,” he said, so she accepted the bet. He took out his false teeth and bit his own ear. Now Julie was down £20 and feeling very annoyed.”

Hey Julie, I’ll give you a chance to win all your money back. I bet I can make love to you and you won’t feel a thing.

“Now Julie knew all about sex and figured that was impossible so she took the bet. He got down on top of her and away they went.

“Ah ah” she said triumphantly. “I can feel you!”

“Oh well,” he said grinning. “You win some, you lose some.”


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Thought Of The Day - Hidden

Thought Of The Day - Hidden

Termites can do devastating damage to a home, all without being seen. We can look at a house that appears to be the picture of perfection, only to discover upon closer inspection that it is being eaten away by those destructive wood-eating creatures. That's also what it's like to harbor a fear or guilt or a painful emotion that we don't face and deal with. It may not be obvious to outsiders, but if something big is weighing on our minds now, then we need to let it out. Talk to a friend. Talk to a spiritual advisor. Seek advice from a therapist. Do whatever we have to do to move beyond our problem, and we'll feel immensely lighter and happier.

Joke Of The Day - Rubber Gloves

Joke Of The Day - Rubber Gloves

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves.

"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

She said: "No, I don't have any idea."

"Well," he spoofed, "Down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in and then walks around for a bit while the latex sets and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."

She didn't laugh one bit.

Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just figured out how they must make condoms!"

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