Thursday, February 24, 2011

Love, Sex and Marriage - Jilted in Love #3

I was going to type 3 separate posts but decided to make it one.

This post is about three guys that were jilted. Yes! Guys! It's not only women that always face the short end of the stick.

All 3 stories being similar. The feelings, emotions and thoughts - are all the same. I cried while listening to them and cried even more while keying this. Heartbreaks are always sad and even more so when it comes out of the blue when you least expect it.

Three happily in love couples, no issues between them whatsoever. Three nice guys, madly in love, and then one day: Crash! Boom! Bang, and their world falls apart!

Hearts ripped out from their bodies, stomped and left to dogs to relish on. Sad but true! I feel for all three of them - one, really close to me; the other, a friend; and the third, an acquaintance. First one was ditched because of no apparent reason, the second was left languishing as his ex realised love was not enough, and the third wanted a more settled guy who would fulfill all her needs and wanted her family to be happy too. Two stories are two years old and one is current. They say, “Time heals all”. But I still see the pain, hurt, and agony as fresh and deep as it was as the day their lives came crumbling down. Time just makes the pain a bit less and bearable. Time makes us used to living with it. Time just gives a false sense of protection. Beneath the surface it's a volcano ready to erupt at the slightest hint.

Being a Libran, I am pretty fair and unbiased. But at the same time extremely emotional. I have tried to understand the ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ of their disposition. But it flummoxes me every time I think about it. I do not see any plausible reason why 3 currently torn guys could not have been 3 happy couples. Hopes of marriage, a great family and happy fun-filled joyous future. Now, just memories and thoughts. Some good and happy but mostly gut or I would say heart wrenching.

Guy #1

So Guy #1, let's call him Bob. He was the one left stranded for no apparent reason. He still can't get over it. His mind is totally messed up right now. The past year has not really been the best for him. But his relationship kept him strong, stable and sane. He was in a relationship for close to 3 years. His lady love had been away the past year for higher studies. They were pretty serious and had discussed marriage. Bob was looking forward to her return so that they could finalise the wedding plans. He was very excited and eager. I remember we discussed some gift option that he would present to her at the airport and formally propose to her.

Bob did propose to her and was shocked and confused when she said "We need to talk about it". Shocked because he was expecting a "Yes". Confused because he didn't know what more was needed to be discussed. As they had pretty much discussed it all.

To keep things short. She had a sudden change of heart. But I think otherwise. She was having far too much fun abroad to actually settle down with Bob. The poor guy has been nursing a broken heart and dreams. Initially he was torn apart but he bounced back real quick. OK, it did take quite a lot of alcohol & crying sessions over 4-6 weeks. In fact he's happier now than he was with her. Suddenly he's come alive. He is like the Bob I never knew. He was shy and quiet, I'd even go to the extent to say non-descript. But now! He is a totally out and out kinda guy. Happy-go-lucky. But I know what dark, morose feelings are there inside.

Well she did try to get back with him, but he showed her the finger. I personally think she's a major bitch, though I do not know her at all. I do not have any issues with her having second thoughts but keeping Bob disillusioned for this long? Giving him false hopes? Anyways she can go to hell. And when I meet her then, I will laugh at her face.

Guy #2

Hmmm... lets call him Chris and her Evelyn. They were dating for about 4 years. They made a really gorgeous couple. I would not say that they were in love but definitely were into each other. (Hey no carnal thoughts!!) They were a fun couple to be around, but (yeah there's always a But) from different backgrounds. Her lifestyle was altogether different from all of us let alone Chris', who was fairly well off. I always thought that they were not meant to be and did tell Chris about it in their early days of dating. But you know how it is right - Raging hormones and all. Anyways as long as he was or rather they were happy I didn't really bother.

A couple of years into their relationship, Evelyn's parents started putting pressure on her to get married. Her parents didn't know about Chris. Well they knew him but didn't know they were in a relationship. So now the pressure was on Chris. Well he had no doubt about marrying her. And she wanted to marry him too. Chris had just started work. Was independent and not living off his family business. He wanted to be a self-made man. This is where Evelyn had an issue. She didn't quite understand why Chris wanted to do it on his own when he could fall back on his family.

So here's where it started getting interesting...

A few months later, Evelyn informed her parents about their relationship. Chris spoke with her parents and explained to them the situation and he was intent on making his life on his own. Somehow her parents didn't like the idea of him working and had an issue if he would be able to take care of her as well as provide her with the luxuries she was accustomed to. Her father was a successful businessman and was not happy with the idea that his daughter may have to work after marriage. So her father gave Chris an ultimatum that if he wanted to marry Evelyn he should go back to his family business.

So, we all friends spent quite a few days and nights with Chris and Evelyn on what they were going to do. Chris was sure, he would not go back to the family business and he wanted to marry Evelyn. By then Evelyn had come around that she wanted to marry him and he did not have to work with the family. Chris decided he would leave the country to increase his earnings and she decided that she would follow him a few months later. It was decided they both wanted to marry each other come what may. Evelyn promised Chris that he was the one she wanted to marry and live the rest of her life with. She didn't tell her parents that Chris was going to go abroad. In the meantime they were getting proposals for her. They thought she called it off with Chris.

Chris in the meantime had packed up and left. Got himself a good job. And in the 9 months since he first left, he did visit home a few times. Both discussed marriage plans for the following year. Chris would once again approach her parents and ask for her hand in marriage else they would elope. All set.

Suddenly 2-3 months later, Chris gets a call from Evelyn. She informs him that she thought about them again and she realized that she was not willing to compromise on her lifestyle and that she could not marry him. (Hold on a bit here comes the juicy bit) Also, she said that she had found someone who could provide her with the lifestyle.


I can't even imagine what must have gone through Chris' mind then. All his hopes and dreams literally shattered in that one call. He was busy creating a future for them, left home, left the country, left family and friends behind just so that he could earn shit loads of money. (For whom? For Her!) And this is what he got in return. He was devastated. We asked him to come home for a bit, but he didn't. A couple of us immediately visited Chris and spent a few days with him. He was a sight to pity. His house was in a mess. He was drinking himself silly every evening. He was so lost and gone that he even hired 'call girls' every week. Whatever he had saved he blew it all up in the next 3 months. He didn't visit home for a year. Cut himself off from everyone barring a couple of friends. I remember how he would cry on the phone, totally drunk and out of his mind. We were surprised he managed to hold onto his job. Chris had a couple of friends there who did take care of him. We were not sorry for him but were very sad. It's been 2 years now and Chris is as normal as he can be. Only the few who know Chris really well know that he's not the same. He's totally closed himself off emotionally. We try not to discuss Evelyn but we have common friends, and every time her name comes up, we can see tears build up in his eyes. He has tried dating in the recent past. But he says he just can't connect with them emotionally and he may never be able to connect with any woman. (One less good guy lost to the selfish, greedy, bad world)

Most of us have totally cut off from Evelyn. I do not think we ever will speak with someone so heartless and insensitive. She didn't give Chris a chance to prove himself. What kind of a person would break someone's heart for their own selfish needs? Chris could provide, OK not necessarily two holidays in a year but definitely one. To people at large, Chris seems totally normal. Well, he is! But now there is this darkness, hatred, harshness, insecurity and pessimism too, in him.  We know he'll never be the same.

Guy #3

He calls himself King of England, as England has no King I'm going to call him Charles and his lady love Bambino. Well I was going to key this in but Charles said that he wanted to write it. So we'll hear from him with real emotions and feelings in the next post. A quick background about his status: Both Charles and Bambino were madly in love with each other. If at all a couple I'd say were made for each other or soulmates, I'd say Charles and Bambino were that couple. They dated for two years. Discussed marriage, kids, and a wonderful future together. And then, she dropped the bomb on him. That she was going to marry another man because she wanted to be happy and her parents would be happy. (hold on hold on…) And, that he should forget her. And not once did she ask him what he would do with his life or how would he cope and live without her. (Damn you parents. I thought you wanted your children to be happy and not obligated to you)

Well, not going to disclose anymore. Will let the man do the talking… in the next post.

Isn't it amazing how easy it is for people to break another's heart and yet carry on happily with their lives? How people make decisions which potentially can destroy another's life? How people can make life altering choices, for themselves and others, without an iota of thought about the other? What kind of a world do we live in?

Do let me know your thoughts.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Love, Sex & Marriage - Jilted by Love #2

This post is about Bina. She was crazily in love with Mukesh. They dated for about 6 years and were pretty serious about each other. I met them a couple of times, professionally and did some work together. But I always found something amiss. I could not see the same passion coming from him. Anyways, thought it was because they dated for so long.

I remember Bina telling me that they would be getting married shortly. Both sets of parents knew. Yes there were some issues because of different religions. However, that was not going to stop them. Mukesh was pretty clear that he wanted to marry her.

He was going back home for some occasion as well as to discuss the dates of his impending wedding with his parents. Bina was so excited. Just like a small child in a candy store... I was excited too. Though not my pals, but yeah I could call them friends.

I remember speaking to her a couple of times during the fortnight Mukesh was away and even a couple of days before his return. She was waiting for his return so that she could break the news to her family. Well age was not on her side. She was a couple of years elder to me. She had prepared a surprise for him - his favourite meal and more.

But t'was not meant to be.

Two days after speaking with her, I opened the newspaper, and there it was - right in front of my eyes - her name in the headline. At first, I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought someone was playing a dirty joke on me. I re-read the article. Bina had committed suicide by hanging herself. She wrote her last note and explained the reason for taking such a drastic step.

Apparently Mukesh had gone home to get married and never once let her know about it. Forget Bina, none of his friends knew about this! He called her, the day after I had spoken with her, and said he was married and that she should go on with her life!

What kind of a person would cheat another out of love? I mean what was Mukesh thinking when he hid it from Bina and went to his village to get married? Does he have a heart at all? What did he expect Bina to do after promising her marriage and a future? How can he be so selfish that for his own happiness he sacrificed another person’s life? Did he not realise how badly she would be affected? Did he not have any responsibility towards her? They were in a relationship for GOD's sake. How could he be so heartless and spiflicate her like that? The one he was supposedly in love with? I can't even fathom what must have gone through her when he said those words to her. (Well actually I can, but more of that later in another post). How could he make such a big decision without considering her feelings and emotions? Or even talking it out with her? Is that what love is? Making life-altering decisions that also impact another person's without their consent? So was the relationship just a sham? A pastime activity? Was it all just fun and games for him?

I can't understand exactly why would Bina do something like this. But I guess it’s too late to ask now. But makes me wonder, how can you take your own life. By what she did she also didn't really think about the people in her life, especially those who love her. What she did was selfish too. Took the easy way out and left the burden on others. Maybe she realised that Mukesh was her life, her everything and without him life had no meaning. I'm sure it would not have been an easy decision to end her life. Just imagine the thoughts that must have gone through her mind. Someone that meant everything to her; someone she had dreams with; now the dreams are being fulfilled with another person; her love her life her everything in the arms of another. How could she live with such thoughts; day in and day out? Instead of putting her through such emotional turmoil, he should have just shot her in the head from point blank range.

After so many years I'm still grappling with the issue. I feel real sad for her parents. After agreeing to an inter-caste marriage (which was a huge issue in this case), they now have to mourn her death for the rest of their lives. Though they were not really happy with it, but she was after all, their child and any parent would want to see the smile on their kid’s face. Parents also realize that their child will not live with them forever and the person they marry / love/ chose is the one that will keep them truly happy.

Well, mostly.

RIP Bina. You are remembered.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Best Love Song Ever...

Bryan Adams' 'I Wanna Be - Your Underwear' has has got to be the best love song ever written. Well it's my favourite :-) Enjoy the song here. (this is not the original video... listen to the words n look at the video :-) )


I wanna be your t-shirt when it's wet - I wanna be the shower when you sweat
I gotta be the tattoo on your skin - yeah lemme be your bed baby - when you climb in
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep - let me be the secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon - ta stir your cream
I wanna be the one that really makes you scream

I wanna be - your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be - your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be - your sweet love babe - ya when you make it
from your feet up to your hair - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be the itch that you scratch - wanna be the chair when you relax
I gotta be your razor when you shave
I wanna be the habit that really makes you crave

I wanna be - your hot tub - when you're dippin'
I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you're drippin'
I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you're sippin'
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be your sleeping bag - baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n' take you for a ride - alright

I wanna be - your hot sauce - ya when you're cookin'
I wanna be - your sunglasses - hey good lookin'
I wanna be - wanna be the one - you're stick your hook in
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
Oh ya I wanna be - your underwear

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sense of Size

Came across this video on The illusion is pretty mind-boggling. No trickery involved here.

Although both of the shapes are the same size, the one on the bottom looks bigger. The brain trick is thought to occur because the short edge of one shape is lined up against the longer side of the other. However, there is still no consensus among researchers on why our brains perceive this effect.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

My first meeting with B3J

She was sitting in my garage looking towards me with her small, round, cute eyes. Her nose bent ever so slightly to the right with a tiny endearing beauty spot. Slender, sleek, long black body! Curves in the right places ;-) And, a booty to die for! I was getting carnal thoughts already. 

Just wanted to grab her. But I knew I had to take it slowly and be gentle with her. There was passion. There was chemistry. And then it hit me - It was more than just a physical urge. I was in love. Yes! It was love. It was Spiritual. In that first meeting she had seeped deep into my soul. Only once before had I ever felt like this and that was in 2007; Pure, unconditional, undying love.  But I couldn't show her my feelings and emotions with haste. Abandoned by the previous fella to fend for herself, she was emotionally scarred.

I walked towards her and reached out to caress her; it was electrifying. I couldn't wait to take her out and spend some time with her. I knew I had to win her confidence and love. I knew I wanted to treat her gently with love and respect.

So, I spent the next few months just admiring her beauty. Talking to her all day; getting to know her intimately. I could see her open up to me slowly. She's not drop dead gorgeous, but to me she is the most beautiful thing. There was something special about her. There and then I knew there was something missing in my life. And it was her. Suddenly life looked bright & happy.

So, who am I talking about? Let me introduce you to My Love - B3J aka Big Black Beauty Ji. B3J is a Yezdi Roadking. She has a 250cc, two-stroke, air-cooled, single cylinder engine with twin exhausts. My call sign - Gunda.

She's all of 18 years old and this month will turn 19. Pity it's her birth month but it will only be until next year I get to celebrate it with her. Yup! She's a Leap Year Baby - February 29, 1992.

You guys can feel free to admire her beauty as well ;-) But only I get to touch her ... he he he ;-)

Gunda's helmet

Gunda's gloves

B3J - The Body!

B3J - The Body!

B3J - Sleek, Slender, Long

B3J - The Beauty!

B3J - Booty to die for!

Don't you want her ;-)

Her Twins!

Her Heart. Pure, Solid, Giving!

Her mound!

Key to B3J's growl!