Joke Of The Day - Hind Lick Maneuver

Joke Of The Day - Hind Lick Maneuver 

Two tigers are stalking through the jungle in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the backside of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, alright!"

The rear tiger apologizes and they continue. After another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the backside of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!"

The rear tiger apologizes again and they continue. After another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What's with you, anyway?"

The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

Courtesy Ask Men

Joke Of The Day - Holy Truck (lawyers)

Joke Of The Day - Holy Truck (lawyers)

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud" and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking. He pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift," the trucker said.

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors.

When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied: "That's OK, I got him with the door."

courtesy Ask Men

Joke Of The Day - Trip to Mars

Joke Of The Day - Trip to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch: He couldn't return to earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million" he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear: "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep one million and we'll send the engineer."

courtesy Ask Men