As the title says. This is my nonsensical, unintelligent rambling on anything and everything. Just my experiences and my thoughts and has no inference or reference to anyone. Some may be funny, some heartwarming and some even downright stupid. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them. :-)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thought of the Day - One Thing
Joke of the Day - Till Diet Do Us Part
Joke
Of The Day
A hospital's consulting dietician
was giving a lecture to several nurses.
He said, "The crap that we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is horrible. Fizzy drinks eat your stomach lining. Chinese
food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables are now "iffy" because of fertilisers and pesticides ... and none of us seem to realize the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water.
However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous, and we all have, or will (likely), eat it at some time in our lives. Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 65-year-old nurse sitting in the front row raised her hand, stood up and said, "wedding cake."
A hospital's consulting dietician
He said, "The crap that we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is horrible. Fizzy drinks eat your stomach lining. Chinese
However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous, and we all have, or will (likely), eat it at some time in our lives. Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 65-year-old nurse sitting in the front row raised her hand, stood up and said, "wedding cake."
courtesy Guylife
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Joke of The Day - Playing Doctor
Joke
Of The Day
A middle-aged man named Morris complained to his friend that making love
to his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative, Morris," his friend said. "Break up the monotony
. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do."
"Sounds great," Morris replied. "But how do you make it last for an hour?"
"It's simple. Just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"
"Get creative, Morris," his friend said. "Break up the monotony
"Sounds great," Morris replied. "But how do you make it last for an hour?"
"It's simple. Just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"
courtesy Ask Men
Labels:
breaking monotony,
joke for the day,
joke of the day,
last for an hour,
making love,
www.askmen.com
Thought of The Day - Confusion
We are not quite sure what we feel
, why we feel it, who we feel it about, whether we ought to be feeling
it at all, how we can stop ourselves from feeling it, where we ought to go to feel better or when we may just wake up one morning and feel differently. Yet we never find out reassuring answers
to all of these questions. At the essence of a conflict
is always something rather valuable. To make us feel far better.
Labels:
essence of a conflict,
thought for the day,
thought of the day,
TOTD,
wake up one morning,
why we feel it
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Joke OF The Day - Pearly Gates
Joke
Of The Day
A minister dies and ascends to the Pearly Gates
. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses
, a loud shirt, a leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter looks at him and says, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen. I'm a taxi driver from New York City
."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter the Kingdom
."
The taxi driver goes into Heaven
with his robe and staff. Next, it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow. I was the pastor of Saint Mary
's for the last 43 years."
Saint Peter
consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff, and enter the Kingdom."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was only a taxi driver, and he got a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen. I'm a taxi driver from New York City
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter the Kingdom
The taxi driver goes into Heaven
Saint Peter
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was only a taxi driver, and he got a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
courtesy ask men
Labels:
joke for the day,
joke of the day,
www.askmen.com
Thought of the day - Chance of a Lifetime
If we feel like hiding under the covers or cowering in a corner, that's just fine. After all, why should we tolerate
all that sunshine that's filtering through our front door? Why should we have to be bombarded with good wishes from all the people who love
and admire
us? And why on earth should we have to endure the wonderful opportunities
that keep knocking on our door? The world is out there waiting for us. We have a choice to make - to go out and greet it, or retreat to our shell and miss the chance of a lifetime
.
Labels:
chance of a lifetime,
Hiding under the covers,
thought for the day,
thought of the day,
TOTD
Monday, September 5, 2011
Thought Of The Day - Ghosts n Memories
Ghosts
don't just live in haunted houses
. Memories
hang around wherever they have been left. And sometimes, the scariest echoes of the past are not from some bygone era. No headless knight or ashen lady can upset us as much as an event, a piece of music or a suggestion that takes us back to some painful experience
that we have been striving ever since to avoid or forget. Somethings send a cold shiver down our spine. We need to chase it away with the bright light of a smart plan and a clear, confident understanding.
Labels:
cold shiver,
haunted houses,
headless knight,
painful experience,
thought for the day,
thought of the day,
TOTD
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