Joke Of The Day - Holy Truck (lawyers)

Joke Of The Day - Holy Truck (lawyers)

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud" and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking. He pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift," the trucker said.

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors.

When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied: "That's OK, I got him with the door."

courtesy Ask Men

Thought of the day - Pesky Insect

Thought of the day - Pesky Insect

Have you ever noticed that, sometimes, just when things are starting to get really good, a new problem crops up or an old one rears its ugly head once more. It is almost as if our difficulties are like flies, they can smell food in preparation and this attracts them to the feast. We need to think of our biggest obstacle or stumbling block as a pesky insect. It can buzz, it can flutter, it can even bite or sting a little, but it can do no real harm unless we allow ourselves to overreact to the irritant.

Joke Of The Day - Trip to Mars

Joke Of The Day - Trip to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch: He couldn't return to earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million" he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear: "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep one million and we'll send the engineer."

courtesy Ask Men

Thought of the Day - Facts

Thought of the Day - Facts

'There is nothing as deceptive as an obvious fact.' - Sherlock Holmes

At times we find ourselves trying to make sense of a situation that just doesn't add up. We can, if we wish, just decide to live with the idea that we have a mystery on our hands and that we may never quite resolve it to our satisfaction. But if we want to understand more, question some of what we think we already understand.

Joke Of The Day - Blonde Paint

Joke Of The Day - Blonde Paint

Q: Did you hear about the new paint color, "blonde"?

A: It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

courtesy Ask Men

Thought of the Day - Actions speak louder than words

Thought of the Day - Actions speak louder than words

Actions, we are repeatedly told, speak louder than words. Why, we may wonder, do people have to keep on saying this? The answer is in the statement. It is because they are words! They don't speak very loud. Actions speak louder. There are some actions that now need to be taken. We worry lest they will trigger a tense response. Yet, for those who have ears to hear, one thing speaks even louder than a word or an action. That is inaction! We need to resist the temptation to do nothing in the hope that something will sort itself out.

Joke Of The Day - Father to Son Talk

Joke Of The Day - Father to Son Talk

A middle-aged father came into the room with his laptop and asked his teenage son to sit down.

"Son," he said, "I think it's time to talk to you about pornography."

"What about it, Dad?" the son asked.

"How the hell can I get past the filters without your mother knowing?"

courtesy Ask Men